I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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