Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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