Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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