You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
