im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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