During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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