"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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