My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
