I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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