so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
