Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
