I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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