Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize