does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
