She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
