sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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