Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
