my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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