We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
