I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Who died my cat blue again?
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