...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
So squirting runs in the family.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Randomize
