I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
