Please, let me fuck your mom
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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