How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
