what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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