I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
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can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
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You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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