So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
even my farts smell like vagina
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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