you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
