I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
