he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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