Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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