Me. At least after what I've been through.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
