nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
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I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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