sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
