just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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