Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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