first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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