Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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