I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
