You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
