When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize