dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
