oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
