I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You made out with two different species that night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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