its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
