So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
