Moan for me like Helen Keller
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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