Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
