I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
And the cops told us we were all naked.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
