if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize