I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
