i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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