Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
