he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
