physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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