hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just gargled with NyQuil
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
