I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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