Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
