he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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