ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
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Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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