You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
