3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
