i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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