Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
